


Medicine

by mourntheantagonist



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy Hargrove Lives, Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Episode: s03e08 The Battle of Starcourt, Songfic, Steve tries his best, Trauma, but not for long :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27540334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mourntheantagonist/pseuds/mourntheantagonist
Summary: He was better. He was healed. The wounds closed, broken ribs became unbroken, lungs began to take in oxygen on their own. His heart kept beating. He was physically healed for the most part. Sure he could barely stay standing for more than ten minutes. Sure he needed help going up and down the stairs. Sure he was tired all the time. But that didn’t matter because he was healed. Because he was alive. The constant pain didn’t matter.or; I got sad so now it's your turn
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	Medicine

_ Pick it up, pick it all up. _

He was better. He was healed. The wounds closed, broken ribs became unbroken, lungs began to take in oxygen on their own. His heart kept beating. He was physically healed for the most part. Sure he could barely stay standing for more than ten minutes. Sure he needed help going up and down the stairs. Sure he was tired all the time. But that didn’t matter because he was healed. Because he was alive. The constant pain didn’t matter. 

_ And start again. _

He made it out alive. Not just from the hands of one monster. But both of the monsters that tore him apart in every conceivable way. He was free. Steve thought perhaps a new Billy could emerge from all of this. He escaped death. He escaped his father. He was healed. Physically anyway.

_ You've got a second chance. _

Billy was different. Steve was right. He used to be all rough around the edges. Used violence before words. He was an asshole, basically. But now he’s quiet. The old billy would liven up a room, the new billy was almost invisible. Trying to take up as little space as possible. He stayed in his room alone, only ever leaving to use the bathroom or when specifically invited out. He wouldn’t say Billy had gone soft. It was something else. Something Steve didn’t quite understand.

_ You could go home. _

Billy had planned to go home to California. He was just spending the time with Steve until he got better enough to drive the distance. There wasn’t anything tethering him to Hawkins anymore. Max was safe. And Billy has every reason to leave.

_ Escape it all. _

But just as quickly as the bonds broke, he was tied down again. Because for the first time since his mother someone had shown him love. 

_ It's just irrelevant. _

And for a while it was enough. It didn’t make the pain go away. It didn’t kick out the fear. But it became bearable. Steve was the first person to ever hold Billy like that. To ever kiss Billy like that. To love Billy like that. It was a pleasant distraction.

_ It's just medicine. _

But it couldn’t fix what was already broken. Because Billy was broken. Inside and out. Steve’s love was just tape. Just a bandaid. It could only hold him together for so long, and it could only cover up so much.

_ It's just medicine. _

It was with the help of a little orange bottle that kept the pieces together for just a little longer. Little tablets that temporarily mended the shattered pieces. That numbed the pain. That shut his thoughts down and allowed him to breathe.

_ You could still be what you want to. _

Steve tried to understand. He tried to help. But he just wasn’t getting it. He thought it all boiled down to the physical. He didn’t get it. And Billy couldn’t explain it to him.

_ What you said you were. _

He wasn’t the Billy that Steve was hoping he’d become. He set his expectations too high. He believed that without the monsters that he’d be a better person in an instant. That his personality could do a one-eighty. But Steve didn’t know about the scars that were left on him. There were more scars than what he could see with his own two eyes. And they weren’t going away. Billy still acted on impulse. Still allowed his father to control him even when he was nowhere near. And he continued to beat himself. Whatever Steve hopes he could be was just a wasted thought.

_ When I met you. _

The pills ran out. The doctor wouldn’t give him anymore. He started to feel it all again. The hurt was overcoming him. He couldn’t breathe. 

_ You've got a warm heart. _

Steve didn’t notice. He was too focused on healing Billy’s old wounds to watch as new ones developed. He didn’t notice how Billy shut down all of a sudden. How Billy was gone out of the house more often. He saw the hostility grow. The irritability. But he was stupid enough to believe it was just Billy becoming more comfortable. He didn’t notice the needle marks on his arms.

_ You've got a beautiful brain. _

Billy was charming as all hell. While he typically relies on violence to solve problems, he was just as good with his words when he needed to be. And He was smart. Steve learned Billy loved reading. Steve didn’t notice that he stopped.

_ But it's disintegrating. _

Steve didn’t notice until Billy had completely withdrawn. Sleeping back to back in Steve’s bed with a considerable distance between them. Billy grew too quiet. And Steve tactlessly pushed him. Making discreet accusations about him cheating or just not loving him anymore. How could Billy open up to him now? He still didn’t get it. Perhaps he never would.

_ From all the medicine. _

He pushed Billy too far. The Camaro is in the driveway but Billy is nowhere to be found. The bathroom door is locked. 

_ From all the medicine. _

Steve was too late. 

_ From all the medicine. _

**Author's Note:**

> just something I wrote really quickly because pain.  
> tumblr; mourntheantagonist


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